The past few days have been very long. The funeral for me was pretty hard but I think it was the chance I needed to say my final goodbye. One of the good things that came out of it was that I met a lot of people that my friend touched and even though they were strangers it was like meeting long lost family.
Other feelings are still hard to put into words because what she did for me and now not really having a proper chance to thank her for that but somehow I think I will find a way. I think as I process everything more I will be able to write more about it.
Time for an update on the weight loss situation. I have been really watching everything I eat, the times I do and taking the fibre supplement like I am supposed to and it is really helping. I was diagnosed with I.B.S. and possible Chron`s earlier this year and I have to be careful with what I eat otherwise it can be really painful (cramps) or it can swing back and forth from constipation to diarrhea. SO avoiding breads and dairy have helped a lot in that respect. Getting all of the crap put my system is helping lost the weight and get back to where I was a month or so ago before I hurt my back. I use the Wii fit to weigh mysle fand keep track of everything too and I weighed in at 237.8 pounds.
Life calls so I will write more later.
Parting thought: Sometimes it isn`t answer you need it is the journey to it that you do.
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Saturday, 23 June 2012
Starting
It has been a while since I wrote anything because life kinda does that to you. There has been a lot going on and I will be adding to it later is the passing of my friend and her funeral is tomorrow. That is going to be a hard one.
One of the things that that I was going to talk about now is hurting my back again. This time it was bad and I was on some serious meds for a while just to be able to function. Thankfully now it is at a state where the pain is tolerable and I can get around without searing pain. On a scale of 1 to 10 right now it is about a 4. I can handle it but the pain is pretty draining.
I think that if I lose more weight and get in better shape the damage that is already done to my back can be repaired with minimal recovery time.Weighing myself today I came in at 244.5 pounds and with the back injury it is a good starting point again. A goal for myself is 225 pounds and once I get there I can decide how I want to take my body, either trim a little more or start weight lifting again.
One of the biggest aspects that I have to keep track of is my diet. Not just for weight loss but for medical reasons as well. But the biggest things I have cut down are sugars and the dairy products. The sugars I have for the most part gotten rid of but the dairy is the really hard part for me. I think that with the restart of losing the weight I just have to stop eating it cold turkey even though it means giving up one of my favourite foods. (cheese) Well lets see how that goes.
One of the good things on my side is that I am just a little stubborn so I will stick to this and I will let you know how this is going.
Parting thought: Just keep going. Just because you may stumble doesn't mean your journey is over
One of the things that that I was going to talk about now is hurting my back again. This time it was bad and I was on some serious meds for a while just to be able to function. Thankfully now it is at a state where the pain is tolerable and I can get around without searing pain. On a scale of 1 to 10 right now it is about a 4. I can handle it but the pain is pretty draining.
I think that if I lose more weight and get in better shape the damage that is already done to my back can be repaired with minimal recovery time.Weighing myself today I came in at 244.5 pounds and with the back injury it is a good starting point again. A goal for myself is 225 pounds and once I get there I can decide how I want to take my body, either trim a little more or start weight lifting again.
One of the biggest aspects that I have to keep track of is my diet. Not just for weight loss but for medical reasons as well. But the biggest things I have cut down are sugars and the dairy products. The sugars I have for the most part gotten rid of but the dairy is the really hard part for me. I think that with the restart of losing the weight I just have to stop eating it cold turkey even though it means giving up one of my favourite foods. (cheese) Well lets see how that goes.
One of the good things on my side is that I am just a little stubborn so I will stick to this and I will let you know how this is going.
Parting thought: Just keep going. Just because you may stumble doesn't mean your journey is over
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Update
I have been floating around the 250 pound mark now which is a good thing considering where I have been. Yes it has been a while since I have written. Kids will do that to you. At my heaviest I was 295 pounds so now being 248 I am feeling a lot better about myself.
Most of my belly is gone and I think that about 15 pounds more it will all be gone. Reading a lot of health and healthy body types I have realised how out of whack it is especially the BMI thing is. It takes your sex, age, height , and weight and comes up with a number. The biggest thing and the most glaring errors of this index is the face it does not take into account for body type and muscle mass. Because someone could be (like I was at one time) 305 pounds and 6 % body fat and 6 feet 2 inches tall and according to this index I would be obese! I know common sense would say I wasn't but I am just saying what it would say.
What also plays a huge factor is body type. Mine for instance is mesomorph so I have a large bone and muscle structure so I carry weight differently than an Ectomorph (really skinny) and Endomporph (Pear shaped). According the the BMI index I should be between 185 to 197 pounds and for anyone who knows me would be laughing at that because even I don't think that would be healthy.
If anyone who reads this is trying to lose weight never go by any indexes but go by what look and feels good and remember that it takes time. The best results never come quickly.
Parting thought: If you are looking for validation the only place to look for it is in the mirror
Most of my belly is gone and I think that about 15 pounds more it will all be gone. Reading a lot of health and healthy body types I have realised how out of whack it is especially the BMI thing is. It takes your sex, age, height , and weight and comes up with a number. The biggest thing and the most glaring errors of this index is the face it does not take into account for body type and muscle mass. Because someone could be (like I was at one time) 305 pounds and 6 % body fat and 6 feet 2 inches tall and according to this index I would be obese! I know common sense would say I wasn't but I am just saying what it would say.
What also plays a huge factor is body type. Mine for instance is mesomorph so I have a large bone and muscle structure so I carry weight differently than an Ectomorph (really skinny) and Endomporph (Pear shaped). According the the BMI index I should be between 185 to 197 pounds and for anyone who knows me would be laughing at that because even I don't think that would be healthy.
If anyone who reads this is trying to lose weight never go by any indexes but go by what look and feels good and remember that it takes time. The best results never come quickly.
Parting thought: If you are looking for validation the only place to look for it is in the mirror
Friday, 9 March 2012
Today
Dear Reader,
Today is a better day for me I think I have finally made it through most of the nastier side effects if the meds that I switched to. I am still losing weight which is a good and bad thing. I need to lose the weight but I can barely eat for the almost past month. I am getting fluids but just not a lot of food. Mostly because it tastes 'off' and after 2 or 3 bites I am full. I wonder how long this is going to last?
I hate it because I do most of the cooking and I can smell the food and it smells great but having no appetite is just an evil joke.
On the positive side now my energy is back and at least I can get back to working out again and feel a little better about myself.
Parting thought: You can't please everyone on the planet. Work on yourself and then the ones closest to you. It will spread
Today is a better day for me I think I have finally made it through most of the nastier side effects if the meds that I switched to. I am still losing weight which is a good and bad thing. I need to lose the weight but I can barely eat for the almost past month. I am getting fluids but just not a lot of food. Mostly because it tastes 'off' and after 2 or 3 bites I am full. I wonder how long this is going to last?
I hate it because I do most of the cooking and I can smell the food and it smells great but having no appetite is just an evil joke.
On the positive side now my energy is back and at least I can get back to working out again and feel a little better about myself.
Parting thought: You can't please everyone on the planet. Work on yourself and then the ones closest to you. It will spread
Tuesday, 28 February 2012
Thoughts
Dear Reader,
I think it is time for a weight update. This morning it was 264.2 which isn't too bad it is progress.I have made notes about my weight on other blogs and such but I am just sticking to this one for now. Not as much as I would like though. I could do more if it wasn't for the side effects of the medications I am taking oh my got they can really suck ass at times. I have zero appetite and along with that is the hunger pains and what little food I do eat tastes weird. Pop for instance has a nasty taste and even if the bottle is just opened it tastes flat. There is also the feeling of constantly being cold the the worst one of all is the feeling if all is feeling stupid. But thankfully that one is starting to go away.
After the second week on this and some of the side effects are starting to go away but I know some of them won't completely go or will take a longer time to go. The one causing most of the problems (and yes I was warned about them is Topomax) It is a mood stabiliser and ailing with the cocktail of other medications I am taking I am doing well in that respect. Which is a good thing.
I have to get into working out again. I used to have plans all designed for me but in a bunch of moves I have lost them. I have gotten some basic weights and some resistance bands and now my search goes on line to find something adequate enough until I can design one for myself. Life calls for now so bye for now.
Parting thought: When it comes to working out don't ever think you can do what everyone else does. Start at your own pace and your results will come quickly.
I think it is time for a weight update. This morning it was 264.2 which isn't too bad it is progress.I have made notes about my weight on other blogs and such but I am just sticking to this one for now. Not as much as I would like though. I could do more if it wasn't for the side effects of the medications I am taking oh my got they can really suck ass at times. I have zero appetite and along with that is the hunger pains and what little food I do eat tastes weird. Pop for instance has a nasty taste and even if the bottle is just opened it tastes flat. There is also the feeling of constantly being cold the the worst one of all is the feeling if all is feeling stupid. But thankfully that one is starting to go away.
After the second week on this and some of the side effects are starting to go away but I know some of them won't completely go or will take a longer time to go. The one causing most of the problems (and yes I was warned about them is Topomax) It is a mood stabiliser and ailing with the cocktail of other medications I am taking I am doing well in that respect. Which is a good thing.
I have to get into working out again. I used to have plans all designed for me but in a bunch of moves I have lost them. I have gotten some basic weights and some resistance bands and now my search goes on line to find something adequate enough until I can design one for myself. Life calls for now so bye for now.
Parting thought: When it comes to working out don't ever think you can do what everyone else does. Start at your own pace and your results will come quickly.
Saturday, 25 February 2012
Hello
This is my first entry on this blog and I thought it would be a good time to start on what is going on in my life at the moment. I am married to an amazing woman and have 4 crazy kids ages 11, 10 2 1/2, 4 months. One of my biggest struggles in life is having bipolar disorder and I was diagnosed with that in 2004 but looking back I have been having problems off and on since I was 17.
The biggest kick in the ass not including having this illness is the medications that you take and the possible side effects of them. Most of them have some form of nausea and vertigo but a little known to others outside of people who take these meds is weight gain. When I started them I weighed 230 pounds and was in great shape and then after 6 or so years on it I stepped on a scale and was almost 300 and went HOLY CRAP! Well anyone who knows me I wouldn't say 'crap'.
Anyway being someone though out my life was in shape until this I have been trying to get my ass in gear. I got from 295 down to 270 and was completely stuck. I was working out and doing cardio and still just stuck at 270. It was really pissing me off. When I went to my doctor a week and a half ago and he changed my medications a little and it has helped. (Which I will do into more detail in my next entry)
I am a pretty open person and if someone actually reads this and has questions ask and I will do my best to answer them but remember that you may not like the answers you get. Anyone who knows me I can be very blunt.
I am at a very comfortable part of my like with who I am, what I want, and where I am going in life. I have wonderful family and friends who I would trade for the world. I may not have a lot of money but I have what I need. But also on here I think if you do read this you will find that stupid people piss me right the fuck off and I don't hesitate to tell them that.
I think that is a good start for a first entry and I will see where it goes from here and here is a little parting thought:
Don't be afraid to be yourself because when you act like everyone else you will get lost in the crowd.
The biggest kick in the ass not including having this illness is the medications that you take and the possible side effects of them. Most of them have some form of nausea and vertigo but a little known to others outside of people who take these meds is weight gain. When I started them I weighed 230 pounds and was in great shape and then after 6 or so years on it I stepped on a scale and was almost 300 and went HOLY CRAP! Well anyone who knows me I wouldn't say 'crap'.
Anyway being someone though out my life was in shape until this I have been trying to get my ass in gear. I got from 295 down to 270 and was completely stuck. I was working out and doing cardio and still just stuck at 270. It was really pissing me off. When I went to my doctor a week and a half ago and he changed my medications a little and it has helped. (Which I will do into more detail in my next entry)
I am a pretty open person and if someone actually reads this and has questions ask and I will do my best to answer them but remember that you may not like the answers you get. Anyone who knows me I can be very blunt.
I am at a very comfortable part of my like with who I am, what I want, and where I am going in life. I have wonderful family and friends who I would trade for the world. I may not have a lot of money but I have what I need. But also on here I think if you do read this you will find that stupid people piss me right the fuck off and I don't hesitate to tell them that.
I think that is a good start for a first entry and I will see where it goes from here and here is a little parting thought:
Don't be afraid to be yourself because when you act like everyone else you will get lost in the crowd.
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